I don't wanna talk about it...But I do.

Ever have those days? Where you don't wanna talk about it, but you know that if you don't talk about it, it very well may kill you... Well, those days result in posts like this one.

I'm hopelessly in love.

I'm so hopeless that all i wanna do is lie in bed and think about...well, being in love. And I know you're dying to know who I'm in love with. Sorry to disappoint, but it's not a who...it's a what...it's an idea...the idea of doing theater.

I am awake at 3:40am because I was googling talent agencies, and Facebook messaging actors, and looking up studios. I have been writing back and forth with a guy who went to my high school...he was a senior when I was but a lowly freshman. His acting was good. Very good. He's currently in Chicago doing a film right now (no big deal). He has given me great advice and even a contact...and all i wanna do is lie in bed and think about how amazing it would be if things worked out for me the way they've worked out for him. I've also been messaging a girl who graduated from Messiah a few years ago. I'm friends with her boyfriend who is also a theater major. She is super talented, and even lives in New York. And all i wanna do is lie in bed and think about how amazing it would be if things worked out for me the way they've worked out for her.

And then i realize that they didn't just magically end up there...they worked their butts off to get to where they are.

Accomplishment doesn't come from dreaming...it comes from doing.

Which makes sense really. I just wish there was an easier way...but I know there isn't, so that's why I'm up until 4am networking. And that's why I will memorize an annoying monologue this weekend, and rock my audition on Monday.

because i am capable.

i am good enough.

i am

a

theater artist.